Of course, the answers to these questions are unknowable. However, the “What If” storyline has appealed to audiences from as far back as one Christmas, when Jimmy Stewart stood on a bridge, holding a heavy rock and wished that he had never been born. This possible originator of the plot device, and certainly most famous example, is the seminal Christmas staple, It’s A Wonderful Life. Jimmy Stewart is shown an alternate reality where he was never born, and he sees the detrimental effect this has on his hometown and his loved ones. He is shown this future by an angel, in order to convince him that his life is worth living. The idea is a memorable one, and has provided writers with a compelling, easy to copy plot device. While the forementioned Shrek movie and Nicholas Cage drama, the Family Man, are cinematic examples, the “What if” scenario is most popularly used in TV. In fact, It is practically a tradition in television shows, next to the musical episode and the clip show episode. It pops up in a wide range of shows, including Futurama, Friends, Buffy, Nip/tuck, and Doctor Who. It is generally a mid season filler and a chance for writers to throw their characters into unfamiliar terriority, with no consequences on the overall story. We get to see Rachel and Chandler as a couple. We see the world decimated by aliens. A recent show did try to be more ambitious with the “What If”. The “flash sideways” which formed part of the final series of Lost was a season long “What if”, and fed directly into an ending  which caused  some viewers remove the “if” and just say “what?”

Overall, the “What if” endures as it appeals to a common instinct. Everyone has at some point looked over their life and thought how path untaken may have led to vastly different destination. It may be pertinent to note that in most cases, the alternate realities are far worse than the original. Jimmy Stewart’s Hometown is awash with crime and poverty in his absence. Without Buffy there are very few humans left in Sunnydale, and in the case of Futurama, the universe implodes. It is good to know that, no matter what decisions you make in life, you could have easily made far worse ones. For example, you could go to see Shrek 4 instead of Toy Story 3.

 Like most new mothers the word Routine is the most common word we have in our vocabulary. We use it when talking to haggard other mothers ‘is your little one is a routine yet?’ to bored  friends ‘no she’s not in a routine yet’, to hopeful spouses…’please god she’ll go into a routine soon’. Yet when your little one is refusing point blank to have her routine nap on a Wednesday morning, there’s worse things you can do than head along to the cinema and forget about the R word for a couple of hours.

As an avid film buff the hardest part of motherhood for me (apart from the usual complaints like sleep deprivation etc) was film deprivation. No more ‘I’ll meet you in the foyer in ten minutes’, ‘I’ll buy the tickets online’ or ‘yeah lets go to the late showing for a change’ now it takes military precision and timing needing additional troops (to watch your precious bundle of joy). Frankly it’s not worth the hassle, ‘so lets just wait for the DVD’ becomes your new turn of phrase.  Well new parents/film buffs fear not. There is salvation out there in the form of The Big Scream. Running monthly in the Omniplex Mahon Point, it’s a baby friendly screening of a movie that allows you to bring in baby, buggy and of course your film deprived self. Outside snacks aren’t frowned upon (babies aren’t popcorns biggest fans), breast feeding isn’t prohibited and best of all no matter how much noise your little one makes, no one is frowning at you, they’re too busy trying to keep their little one quiet.

Date Night

The screening itself was the latest Tina Fey, Steve Carrell vehicle ‘Date Night’ a harmless comedy that doesn’t break any new cinematic ground but rumbles along quite nicely. A case of mistaken identity leads married couple-in- a-rut The Fosters (Fey & Carrell doing their usual schtick) on a wild night around the isle of Manhattan. Featuring  corrupt cops, mobsters and some clever cameos Date Night is pleasant and light. CinematicalIy I’d normally give a film like this 5 out of 10 but for getting me out of the dreaded R word even for just a couple of hours its up there with Citizen Kane.

Contact www.omniplex.ie for future Big Scream screenings.

Written by Róisín Thornhill

Who said we couldn’t find a film link to the fact that it’s Cork fashion week?

And some tip-offs to interesting links..

The Tim Burton Collective is a nice site dedicated to Burton’s movies.

Or if you’d rather Wes Anderson, you should check out The Rushmore Academy.

Going a bit girly then with Frocktalk.com, “the web’s only costume-based movie review site”!

And if you really need to think about something other than film, you could do worse than sporcle.com. It’s not really time-wasting, not when you’re perfecting your knowledge of European countries..or Simpson’s characters.

He then sets about becoming one himself, purchasing a lime green and yellow scuba suit (not the best for camouflage but eh..it’s a movie), and patrolling the streets with some batons, and some not so honed fighting skills.

Nothing like a few forward lunges to tone those superhero muscles before a night on patrol...

I’d like to say this is the most interesting thing about the film, the lone man who breaks the mould. The mould being of course, that only people with superpowers (excepting Batman of course), can become superheroes, making a stand against crime.

But Kick Ass isn’t the only one. And I’m not talking about Big Daddy or Hit Girl who also appear in the film as (infinitely superior) dressed up dynamos. I’m talking about Real Life Superheroes, most of whom are recorded on The World Superhero Registry (WSR) (http://www.worldsuperheroregistry.com/world_superhero_registry_gallery.htm) These are the vigilante crime fighters who’ve taken to the streets in places like Arizona, Michigan, and NYC, Kick Ass’ home city.

In fact there seems no end to the number of individuals who’ve lived the Kick Ass dream, long before he hit our screens. The Black Monday Society patrol the streets of Salt Lake City, Utah, boasting members like the long haired Ghost, the mysterious Insignis and Oni, with a mask that puts me in mind of a more ominous V for Vendetta.

While in the film, Kick Ass, along with Big Daddy, and Hit Girl appear to operate on their own terms, those belonging to the WSR, must follow some basic and well advised guidelines.

1. They must not carry guns or knives as they will be arrested as vigilantes. For this reason, Hit Girl if she was ever caught would be spending a lengthy period in the juvenile system. (Although it is still vaguely impressive that a 12 year old should know so much about weaponology)
2. They must create their own costumes without infringing on Marvel or DC copyright.
3. A good name is essential.
4. They must adopt a philosophy which promises to do no harm, aims to exhibit sound judgement, and fairness in their dealing with criminals.

Essentially they are representatives, with a message, and a visibility on the streets. They don’t quite adopt the destructiveness of Hit Girl and Big Daddy, but instead like Kick Ass (after he realizes he can’t exactly go out beating up gangs without serious and foolish risks to himself) they offer a service and assistance, often through their websites. Citizen Prime (a father and businessman in real life), who patrols the streets of Phoenix, Arizona, says he even helped a motorist change a tyre once. In most cases, these masked crusaders, seem to be upstanding citizens, just trying to make a small change.

However some are quicker to dispatch with their own safety, like The Black Monday Society of Utah, who interrupt drug deals and take on armed thugs. And just like our regular guy Dave aka Kick Ass, who gets stabbed the first time he tries out heroism, some Real Life Superheroes have had hard times. Over a year ago in December 2008, a hero from L.A., called Mr Invisible, gave up his attempt at an alter ego after been punched by a girl who’s screaming boyfriend he was trying to calm down. The informatively named, Master Legend of Florida was attacked by a man with a hammer.

The best of Utah, The Black Monday Society

Perhaps even a greater risk, however, is the risk of being dubbed insane and sent to a psychiatric institution. Black Owl, another L.A. Defender ended up in such an institution, and had to rely on his teenage daughter to get him out.

Thus an active website and frequent presence in the media, is important for Real Life Heroes, to validate them, and their state of mind. Kick Ass benefits from having his vigilante actions recorded by bystanders and uploaded to youtube. Even though the classic comic superheroes were around long before the Internet, it seems today’s collective of caped citizens must embrace the power of the World Wide Web to help their crusade. We might laugh at Kick Ass answering request for help emails, and smirk at his blog updating, but this is how the world works. The Internet brings these real life heroes together, keeping the lines of communications open, and more importantly, keeping them up to date on what’s happening in the world. A real life Peter Parker might have reinvented his famous phrase, and commented that ‘With great knowledge comes great power’ . Whether one actually needs to dress up and change one’s name to gain power in society, is, of course, a different question, one Kick Ass might do well to ask sometime.

And one important link:

to the Mutant Shorts blog, where you can read all about the details of the next Mutant Shorts film competition.

Then again you could get busy making films..These guys at Element Pictures have been pretty successful when it comes to production. You’re bound to have seen at least one of the movies or TV shows they have produced.

On the animation side of things, Maeve Clancy’s site is nice link for the day. Her animated shorts have been screened at the Cork Film Festival in the past.

And although The Stub has not made the Irish Blog Awards shortlist (*sigh!), these movie blogs did (congrats to them), so check them out:

Average Film Reviews

The mOvie Blog

Check back next Sunday for another cartoon/links post. Same Stub time, same Stub channel..

And in case you are also one of those people who stays up all night on the Oscar watch, here’s some handy links:

Know your stuff: Read all about the history of the Academy on the official site here.

If you want to be really fancy about it, make some Oscar cocktails. Follow the recipes here. Drinks include an Avatar, and a Crazy Heart.

And don’t forget your printable ballot, courtesy of IMDB.

Oscar buzz aside, check out insidefilm.com for film news and a really handy list of film festivals from around the world.

And now for your weekly dose of links…

For the latest audition news in Cork, and beyond, visit Laughing Mask.

Nice site for Hitchcock fans including a fun Cameos section highlighting all his brief appearances.

Visit Cablog, the blog for Dublin/LA based production company Caboom, for lots of interesting bits and pieces, particularly those related to animation.

For anyone whose seen W.C., one of the latest Irish feature films to hit screens, you can read this press release:(WC Lifting the Lid press release Feb 2010[1]) about the new documentary, Lifting the Lid, on the process of making the actual feature. More at www.wcthemovie.com.

And because there’s more to life than film..one non-film link. Yummy recipes and reading tips at Cornflour, thanks for the tip Laura.

As some of ye might know, this post was planned for last weekend, but much tweaking went on as I attempted to fit a rather wide comic strip into a Wordpress blog. As it’s all sorted now, expect future posts to appear as planned, hopefully..

Challenging people to create a short film which had to be set in a kitchen led to an array of shorts, each one unique and imaginative. Here is a list of the films that graced the Savoy screen last November, for the Mutant Shorts filmmaking competition, each of which can be viewed at the Mutant Space Vimeo page here.

The Kitchen by Fiona Dowling featured a variety of kitchen appliances with strong personalities, that will make you think twice the next time you kick your vacuum cleaner in frustration.

Home Sweet Home by Keith O’ Connell is the poignant tale of a young man living in squalor and proved to be the winning film on the night.

In DI Why? by Fiona Riordan and Cethan Leahy, we realise that some household chores just aren’t worth the effort, and can leave you in a sticky situation.

One in the Oven by John O’ Callaghan features a turkey and an unborn baby having a kitchen oriented discussion.

Kitchen Antics by Tom White and Seán Stanton lands us in the midst of a student party wherein two guys end up chatting in the kitchen.

The Baked and the Dead by Oisín Carey promotes spaghetti western style cooking when a duo compete to create the best beans on toast.

Fishbone by Hayret Abdula traces a married couple through the years, and all viewed from their very own kitchen.

Crab Murder by Hilary Williams is almost documentary like in the way that it follows a crab from shore to cooking pot in the kitchen.

Butcher by Donal O’ Shea brings us on a surreal and crazy trip into the kitchen of one off-the-wall young man.

Conscience by Seán Breathnach sees a man in the aftermath of a break up, as he deals with the issues weighing on his mind.

All You Can Eat by Rob Noonan centres on a restaurant with a difference, in this rather bloody but intriguing tale.

The Influences of Feminism on French Cuisine by Christina Utzeri tackles the problems that occur when feminism has its way in the kitchen.

First A Dream by Cethan Leahy is the tale of two people and the strange dreams that one may just be inflicting on the other.

Do judge for yourself by viewing the vids at the Vimeo page, as linked above. First A Dream is not available on the Vimeo page but you can view it at http://thegiftedbabies.wordpress.com.